Yesterday was officially the 5th birthday of the Tea Party, which is not actually a party, but rather a sad little sub-division of the GOP, who saw the reality that their already multi-fractured tapestry of a party would lose more than enough folks to a start-up new third party of radical righties to lose elections forever and ever amen.

The timing of the Tea Party was dubious at best, since they didn't really take off until just after Obama too office.  Add to that the multitude of pictures at rallies of the President as an African Witch Doctor with a bone through his nose, or as the Heath Ledger version of the Joker from the previous summer's Batman movie.  Nevermind that ALL of the things they were loudy whining about that were to do with the economy, was actually still the economy of the previous president, and not the new one, who had yet to enact any policy of his own.  Not that that ever mattered to these folks.

Quickly, the lawn-chair bestriped butted, Lipton bag be-hatted wearers of all lathered up, all white hold-overs from the anger of the long-forgotten desegregation era, were targeted and hi-jacked by the big billfold bullies of the coropatized Rightwing of the GOP. 

And, bam! Pow! Money talked and TeaBaggers waddled on over to the slick-talking, flashy-smiling power brokers, who offered them a place in the circus tent of the GOP.

And, in 5 short years, the Tea Party filtered their way into being a solid faction of elected republicans.  Problem one:  that promised place in the tent was one they took seriously, and those who offered it never actually intended to honor those promises.

The Tea Party sold out, then got riled up once they got into the GOP, which had no intention of actually taking them seriously while only taking their votes and using their hate.

What they didn't bargain for was the high level of crazy. 

Yes, the Tea Party were under achievers in the intellectual arena, and wore it in bright Palin-esque badges of honor. No, they did not understand the Constitution, or how America works, and what it stands for beyond what they wanted it to be.  And they wanted it to be a mirror image of them.  You, see - dumb people aren't smart enough to realize they are dumb. 

I've joked that the GOP are like Michael Douglas in the 80s movie "FATAL ATTRACTION" and the Tea Party are like the Glen Close character that they had an affair with.  And, I think we all know how that whole thing turned out.

And, here we sit... 5 years later with the Tea "party."  Finally they have reached an age to match their intellectual aspirations and general temperment (though I've seen some 5 year olds that can actually be reasoned with better.)  What comes next for the Tea Party?

I say that they are the long-sought wedge that many of us have waited to see come into the already multi-personality, mass contradiction that is the modern Republican Party.  They can't be managed, and they are willing to sabotage anything and everything in order to get their way.  (See: Ted Cruz, circa last September/October). As such, they will eventually become their own party (in my estimation), thereby sucking just enough life out of the GOP to drop them into a distant second place party.

But don't hold your breath that the Dems will actually take advantage and get things done once it happens.  After all, if you compare it to heroes and villians, and you use Superman and Lex Luthor example - taking the stance that every hero must have an equal opposite villain - the Dems are more like Christoper Reeve's Superman (and after Reeve's horse riding accident).

Happy 5th birthday to the misguided, slack-jawed mass of Americans who think that America is actually a different place than it is, and will fight to their death to defend their right to be wrong about it.